Feelings you don’t grow out of

If we were 5,

i would express my feelings for you by making you cry.

kicking sand in your hair and totally Destroying your sand castles.

After our nap my lunchable would be half yours,

crackers, cheese and meat broken in half carefully by my tiny hands with as much precision as i could muster.

and we would sit together on the cement curb with our feet dangling, maybe even holding hands.

But when my mom would come to take me away i would throw the loudest tantrum just for you.

Crying and screaming just so i could spend another 5 minutes staring at you while I’m blocking out the lecture I’m receiving.

Thinking of you brings me back to the school yard,

If i was IT, I would chase you until my lungs burned circling around the basketball court swirling around the poles,
I would even chase you through the dodgeball circle braving pelts and welts from bouncing red spheres pinging against my skin. But it wouldn’t matter because I like you.

But if you were IT, I would run just out of reach so you couldn’t tag me but close enough so you would keep trying.

When you get frustrated I’ll slow down and let you tag me.

And then I would go after anyone that was mean to you or teased you just so that the rest of the day you’d be happy.

Today I don’t have the sandbox or the school yard, I have meetings.

Playful banter is our game now, one that you play well and I’m careful to not reveal too much.

You make me laugh, instead of enjoying your tears as my shoe topples your sand towers,

I prefer to crack open that smile and let your laugh escape.

I’m accomplished every time a white crescent spill across your face as you loose control of your laugh.

My feelings are summed up in the same 3 words from when I was a kid,

I Like you.

Could life be this simple?

Could I just ignore the mountain of reasons that hold me back?

Could I just do what every fiber in my body wants me to?

Could i just be that little kid who knows nothing else than he just wants to be close to you.

Could I just bribe you with a candy or promise that I’ll invite you to my birthday party.

Because it feels right.

I see you and everything else falls away.

Even my eyes fall to the floor downcast to keep my feelings hidden.

in my eyes everything that wants to be told is vocalized.

This is an attempt to free myself from my heart’s self imposed exile.

Let my mouth spill with poetry,

Cuz I haven’t found many names that rhyme with Karate.